The Social Ambassador Wife of Qatari Envoy Offers Glimpse Into Qatari Society by Gail Scott Awatef Al-Dafa has a big job. As wife of Qatari Ambassador Bader Omar Al-Dafa and mother of three children, she is constantly juggling her busy diplomatic schedule with her familyís needs and several important charities, especially the Mosaic Foundation, where she has been the financial chair for the past two years. She loves to promote Qatar, but before Awatef can even begin to talk about her country, she often has to help her audience understand exactly where it is (a strategic peninsula jutting out into the Persian Gulf with a small border alongside Saudi Arabia) and how to correctly pronounce it (a guttural KAH-tar). ìIt is hard for many people to say,î she admittedóbut that doesnít discourage Awatef, a patient and gentle persuader with sparkling eyes. We were sitting in the living room of the coupleís spacious Spring Valley residence. The ambassadorís colorful paintings decorate most of the walls except for the place of honor over the fireplace reserved for two powerful portraits, one of the Emir of Qatar Sheikh Hamad Bin Khalifa Al-Thani and his son, the designated heir apparent of Qatar, Sheikh Tamim. Before we could begin our interview, this natural hostess first made sure that I had something to drink and that I helped myself to the myriad savories and sweets brought to us. I remember how gracious she has looked in her robes, but that day she was wearing a tailored brown pantsuit and fashionable crËme slip-on heels. In the background, pet parakeets sung from their perches above the center staircase. Knowing that many Westerners, especially Americans, are curious about how women are treated in Qatar, she began by answering her most frequently asked question: What is it like to be a woman in Qatar? ìQatari women have the freedom to dress however they wish and do whatever they like, whether it is something basic like driving a car or holding high positions. We have the right to vote and run for elections Ö today more Qatari women graduate from university than men and, therefore, many women hold important jobs. The minister of education is a woman,î Awatef said. ìThe role of women in our society has changed,î this former teacher added. ìWe know it is vital for the progress of our country.î Her Highness Sheikha Mozah Bint Nasser al Missned, wife of the emir, has expanded the realm of education in Qatar dramatically by creating Education City, a world-class education facility where major American educational institutions have a new home in the Middle East. Cornell Universityís Medical School, Carnegie Mellonís School of Business, Texas A&Mís Engineering School and Virginia Commonwealth Universityís Design School are all represented there. Georgetown Universityís School of Foreign Service is expected to accept Qatarís invitation to be represented as well. All of these American schools vow to uphold their high stateside admissions standards and are already drawing students not just from this forward-thinking host country, but from other countries in the region, including Egypt, Syria, Jordan and Morocco. Later, when I spoke with Ambassador Al-Dafa in his new embassy on M Street, he had more news about Education City. ìWe are already in discussion with schools in Japan, the Netherlands, Canada to be part of Qatar Education City,î he said. ìAnd we have a RAND Corp. think tank and are planning a Science Park. This is revolutionaryóreally creating a state-of-the-art campus from the best branches of colleges all over the world.î Ambassador Al-Dafa, himself a graduate of American universities, said Qatar has made incredible progress in less than 10 years. ìSince June 1996, when the emir came to power Ö he brought this vision, this transformation home with him from living and going to school in Europe. The emir wanted to make Qatar into a modern state where democracy and learning reign. First we reformed our own pre-K through high school, made a second language and music compulsory, and upgraded our public education to an international standard for our Qatar Academy,î Al-Dafa said. Qatarís impressive education reform, costing billions of dollars, is putting this small Persian Gulf countryóa former British protectorate until 1971óon the map, both within the Arab world and with the United States. ìWe are a small country with big ideas,î said the ambassador, calling the emirís wife ìthe dynamoî behind this education explosion. Often interviewed on American television, she has said that Qatarís new academic programs ìrepresent the beautiful face of Americaî and that ìthere are a lot of good things from America that we should adopt.î Awatef and her children also seem to find the best in America. Although they all look forward to returning home some day to fulfill their dreams, for the past five years the family has been enjoying their American experience. During the interview, the youngest, 11-year-old Maram, burst into the house to see what was going on. The tall sixth-grader who attends Rock Creek International School was dressed in blue jeans and a ìsuperwomanî T-shirt, her arm loaded with brightly colored bracelets. Maram absolutely bubbled when she was asked to describe her love for American basketball. ìI love playing it and watching it. I saw the Harlem Globetrotters,î she exclaimed, hoping to shoot some baskets in her own backyard that afternoon before dinner. But, as clear as she was that she likes basketball, she was just as clear that she does not like diplomacy. ìI love science,î she said, ìmaybe oceanography.î Her older sister, Maryah, a junior at Georgetown University, also lives at home. ìShe is very sophisticated,î said Awatef, ìand loves high fashion and diplomacy.î Their eldest, Mohammed, a 26-year-old marketing graduate student from George Washington University, now works for Qatar Gas and lives in the Al-Dafaís family home in Doha with nine cats and two dogs. ìHe plays the guitar and sings professionally,î said his mother. ìHe has his own CDsóheís really good.î I wondered if Qatar, a Muslim state where families are extremely close and women donít date before marriage, will be able to protect its traditional values as it reaches out to the rest of the world. ìI was 18 when I got married,î said Awatef, now 46. ìToday, young women are waiting longer, more education is available, and they want to get good jobs.î But when it comes to marriage and family, she said Qatari women hold their traditions dearly and would be happy to live what many outsiders consider to be a conservative life. I asked if Awatefís older daughter dates? ìNo,î replied Awatef. ìShe might have some friends over or go to the movies, but these friends are all girls.î Awatef believes that Qatari families are what will always hold the social fabric together. ìWe do everything within our family,î she explained, ìespecially during Ramadan. Then, all Qatari families fast together and spend from about two in the afternoon until sundown reading and praying. Then thereís a big daily feast.î Only babies and children under 10 are exempt from the fasting. ìIt is hard for the children at school when their schoolmates are eating their lunch,î Awatef said. ìBut we all get used to it.î Except for that one month of fasting during Ramadan each fall, most Qatari families usually rise early and go to work or school as early as 6 a.m. ìThen around 2 p.m., we come home for lunch together, our biggest meal, and take a rest or a nap.î Ambassador Al-Dafa especially appreciates being able to return home to his loving family and the closeness they share. ìAwatef has always stood beside me,î the 52-year-old diplomat said. ìPart of our success in the U.S. is due to Awatef creating the right support, atmosphere at home. She is really our ësocial ambassador,í giving everyone here a glimpse into Qatari society, daily life. Not everyone inside or outside the Beltway is interested in politics.î The ambassador loves to paint and spends any extra time he has on weekends in his home studio. ìThatís the way he relaxes,î said Awatef. A painter since he was a young boy, Ambassador Al-Dafa is preparing an exhibit of his work this June at Qatarís new embassy. In the meantime, Awatef loves to cook for her family and takes over the kitchen on most weekends. ìThe kids love me to make spaghetti, lasagna or cook Chinese food. I have taught each of my children the same way my mother taught me how to prepare Qatari and international foods.î Although Awatef admitted that American fast food is becoming increasingly popular in Qatar, she prefers her family to eat international cuisine or traditional Qatari dishes. Not surprisingly, all this talk about food led to talk about diets and exercise. If Awatef finds the tim e, the treadmill is always waiting. But she would much rather jump into the pool for a water aerobics class or arrange a private Pilates lesson. ìExercise relaxes me, especially Pilates,î she said. ìI need it to deal with all this Washington stress. I always relax by playing a sport. There is nothing quite like that adrenaline rush.î Gail Scott is a contributing writer for The Washington Diplomat.