NAEYC also recommends that teachers and parents make it a firm rule that a person’s appearance is never an acceptable reason for teasing or rejecting them. Immediately step in if you hear or see a child behave in such a way. Also, don’t ignore differences—rather, help a child identify himself or herself in a positive way. And listen respectfully to and answer children’s ethnic or racial questions about themselves and others. Don’t ignore, change the subject, or make the child think that he or she is bad for asking such a question. Finally, talk positively about a child’s cultural heritage, helping children learn the differences between unhealthy feelings of superiority and healthy feelings of pride. Pizzolongo emphasized that parents may need to help teachers understand their children’s cultural background even in schools that celebrate diversity or provide a highly multicultural environment. It’s difficult in a school “with 75 cultures and languages to learn all the nuances” of each one, he pointed out, and there are individual differences in how children learn and react to things. Communication is key. Pizzolongo cited the example of an early childhood teacher who was quite knowledgeable about the varied backgrounds of students in her class. However, when she told the parents of one boy that their son was doing well in small groups, but not when it was his turn in a large group of children at “circle time,” the parents became angry and upset “because in their culture putting yourself in the spotlight that way was not acceptable.” The teacher was horrified at her mistake and felt terrible about it, Pizzolongo explained. He cited another common cultural misunderstanding: In this country’s dominant culture, he said, children are often expected to maintain eye contact with adults, although this isn’t necessarily the case in other cultures. A child from another culture who is looking away or looking down, appropriate behavior by that family’s standards, may be accused of not paying attention or considered insubordinate. Similarly, “we are an independent people so we expect a preschooler to initiate activities, but in some cultures, when adults are present, a child will not initiate,” Pizzolongo said. Helping Young Children Deal With Bias In dealing with cases of bias or bullying, parents of young children need to provide strong support while encouraging the child to act on his or her own to the extent that is possible, experts advise. Young children can recognize bias. They feel prejudice, but often can’t articulate it, school consultant Carter said. As a result, Wiseman advised that if parents suspect bias or bullying, they should ask the child to put the problem into their own words, or draw it out, or simply say, “Tell me what it feels like in your stomach.” As a first-line solution, parents can give children constructive language to use in dealing with other children who are biased, Wiseman said, such as “I don’t like what you’re saying. I want you to stop.” Parents can acknowledge the child’s feelings while promoting family values by saying, for example, “I know that being called names makes you angry, but the rule in this family is that you can’t be mean back.” If that doesn’t resolve the situation, the parent and child should go together to discuss the matter with a teacher—and the parent should prepare the child in advance. Suggest that the child tell the teacher about a perceived problem, but if a child is unwilling or unable to do that, a parent can say, “I’ll do it. If I get it wrong, you correct me.” This way, children will often let a parent begin and then jump in with their own comments, Wiseman said. If additional help is needed, school counselors and administrators can provide assistance, offer guidance and intervention, clarify a situation, and possibly act as mediators. Assistance for Older Children and Teens “Bullying is often blown off by kids who are older,” Wiseman observed. In her work with middle school and high school students, Wiseman challenges them to explain to her and each other where bullying and bias come from, why people are willing to be bystanders when cruelty occurs, and ways to change these behaviors. She includes current topics such as cyber-bullying (taunting over the Internet) and deals with domestic abuse and economic and class bias, as well as racial and ethnic discrimination. Another issue that is pertinent for older children is the fear of being labeled a “narc” or snitch. “It’s very important to distinguish between narcing, where the motive is to harm someone, and reporting, where you are trying to right a wrong,” Wiseman said, adding that a focus on fighting social injustice can have a powerful appeal in this age group. A range of people and programs are devoted to anti-bias efforts at Woodrow Wilson Senior High School in the District, a public school with about 1,400 students, according to Emyrtle Bennett, head of the school’s Guidance Department. “We’re one of the most diverse schools in the city in terms of both economic and cultural diversity,” Bennett said of Wilson students, who hail from 85 countries and represent some 100 languages. Staff and faculty are offered programs and readings in diversity, and all 18 members of the school’s counseling staff are diversity trained. (According to Carter, four Washington-area schools, public and private, are requiring a six-week course on multicultural issues for their entire faculties this year.) Wilson also participates in the “Peaceable Schools” initiative and runs a peer-mentoring program. Last year, 60 of Wilson’s peer mentors took part in Carter’s diversity workshop at the Landon School. “We take a hard-nosed approach to bullying,” Bennett said. To head off crises, Wilson provides counseling, peer mentoring and solution-oriented student placements, as well as meetings with students, teachers and parents, and a crisis team should a problem appear urgent. The school includes five specialized academies, or “schools within a school,” and students experiencing difficulties might be placed with similar compatible peers in one of these academies or steered to one of the school’s ethnic-oriented or interest-centered clubs. “There’s a place for every student here,” Bennett said, citing weekly meetings for Asian students, clubs for African Americans, Hispanic interests, a Bible studies group, Mecca club, and a group for gay, lesbian and trans-gender students, among other options—each monitored by an adult. The school also sponsors monthly ethnic-oriented events, such as a Hispanic heritage assembly. These events are planned, organized and presented by student volunteers over a period of three months and offer participants the opportunity to work together to create a school-wide event that showcases their culture and interests. When it comes to bias or bullying, even with older children, parental support is still crucial. Talk about issues in advance without being alarmist, Wiseman advised. Discuss ways to respond, and keep the communication paths on this topic open if you can. If difficulties arise, parents of teens should still “help them articulate the problem and deal with their feelings,” Bennett said. If the problem appears to be a teacher, communicate with that teacher and work with a school counselor, Bennett advised, cautioning that a teacher may not be aware of certain cultural issues, or on the flip side, a student may have unrealistic expectations of that teacher based on their own cultural standards. Indeed, Wiseman warned that internationally exposed and “socially fluent kids” of this age can be capable of playing both sides, perfectly adapted to American culture when it suits them and asserting, “That’s not what we do in our country” when it doesn’t. Student leaders in this age group, native-born or not, may also be ahead of adults when it comes to perceiving diversity and anti-bias benefits, and research confirms that the skills needed for young people to successfully negotiate today’s increasingly global economy can best be developed through exposure to very diverse people, cultures and points of view. The local high school leaders in Carter’s Landon forum clearly grasped these benefits. They complained, for instance, that not having a sufficient curriculum in global affairs and diversity could make it more difficult for them to get into good colleges or do well once they get there. Some told Carter, “We rarely get into Asian [studies] and African literature is not adequately represented. We’re not getting what we need.” Thus, to best assist children, parents and teachers need to, above all, listen to them. Carolyn Cosmos is a contributing writer for The Washington Diplomat.

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