Kuwait Ambassadorís Wife Dispels Misconceptions About Arab Women, Country by Gail Scott Rima Al-Sabah, wife of the Kuwaiti ambassador, is dressed in black slacks and a turtleneck as she welcomes me into the cozy, elaborately paneled study just inside the entrance of the official Kuwaiti Residence. She offers me ìwhite coffee,î an aromatic hot drink made of rose water with a drop of sugar. Just sampling the aroma of the Middle Eastern digestive, I feel transported to this distant, exotic land that has become a major ally for the United States. A mound of Kuwaiti mamul cookies with ground dates at the center and Patchi chocolates tempt me to enjoy the afternoon chat. But Rima is serious. ìI want people to know that I am here to serve my country, strengthen ties between Kuwait and the U.S., and to dispel any misconceptions about Arab women in general and Kuwaiti women in particular,î she said. This Lebanese-born former war correspondent and mother to three boys is a fascinating combination of glamour and guts. ìI like to say I am Lebanese by birth and Kuwaiti by choice,î Rima said of her national background. ìI grew up in Beirut during the civil war and did most of my schooling there, except for two years at the height of the war when my brother and I were sent to live with my fatherís cousin in Paris.î Today, Rima can switch from Arabic to French for phone interruptions and still do an interview in English without worrying about being misunderstood. ìI have a Lebanese and French Baccalaureate; Arabic and French are my first languages. I started English in the sixth grade,î Rima explained, noting that in the Middle East, children start school when they are 3 years old, and that most schools are bilingual. ìThere are many weeknights when I am correcting my oldest in French, helping my middle one with math, and my youngest with his grammar in English while I am putting on my make-up and getting ready to go out,î she said. Arriving in Washington, D.C., only weeks before the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, Rima and her ambassador husband, Sheikh Salem Abdullah Al-Jaber Al-Sabah, landed on Washingtonís social A list almost immediatelyóway ahead of more seasoned ambassadors from larger, more established embassies. It was quite a social coup when one considers that even though Kuwait is a strategically important country to the United States, it only has 800,000 citizens. Friends and family describe him as handsome and her as glamorousóand both as being very smart. ìMy husband and I are an absolute team,î said the svelte blond as she flipped back her long hair. ìWe always have beenÖ. He takes care of politics and I am in charge of the social and cultural. He trusts my judgment.î For emphasis, she added, ìAt social events, my husband says he comes ëas my guest.íî Rimaís parties are always full of Washingtonís power brokers. Besides Kuwaitís annual National Day party for 750 guests and other huge events for visiting royalty and dignitaries, Rima is also well known for her large, gracious parties for important friends. She feted Alma Powell, wife of Secretary of State Colin Powell, and is planning to honor Janet Langhart Cohen, wife of former Defense Secretary William Cohen, for the publication of Cohenís memoir, ìFrom Rage to Reason: My Life in Two Americas.î Rima also never misses an opportunity to dispel misconceptions and speak out on behalf of Arab women, especially Kuwaiti womenówhether it is before the American News Womenís Club or the Associates of the American Foreign Service Worldwide. She was the first and only ambassadorís wife to ever address Texasís Annual Conference for Women, and she has been invited to participate in Fortune magazineís Most Powerful Women Summit this fall. Rima wants people to know that ìwomen in Kuwait are highly educated, very active and involved in all sectors of society,î she said, noting, ìUniversities in Kuwait are free, and we have more women than men enrolled. Women hold key positions. We have two undersecretaries who are women. The head of Gulf Bank is a woman. The editor-in-chief of Al-Anba, a leading newspaper, is a woman. The head of cardiology at the Armed Forces Hospital and 10 assistant secretaries are women.î When asked if this former Lebanese war correspondent wears a veil on the streets of Kuwait City, Rima was quick to answer. ìNo, I do not,î she said. ìThe veil is optional, and each womanís choice is respected. In Kuwait, we have freedom, respect and tolerance for each otherÖ. There is equal pay for men and womenóthe only country I know of in the worldóand there isnít a field in which I donít feel I can work.î In the beginning, when they were introduced by a mutual friend, Rima and her husband ìcouldn't stop talkingóit was a meeting of the minds,î she recounted. ìWe think very much alike. Itís like I found my soul mate.î At the time, he was a 24-year-old graduate student and she was a 19-year-old undergraduateóboth studying political science at the American University in Beirut. They married five years later in 1988. Before coming to this prestigious post, Ambassador Al-Sabah and his family lived in Korea during his first posting as ambassador. Before that, the young family lived for nearly eight years in a New York high-rise while Al-Sabah moved up the ladder in Kuwaitís Permanent Mission to the United Nations. Rima is equally serious in her efforts to extend her Kuwaiti hospitality to American audiences and getting her main points across. ìWhen people meet me and we talk, they take me seriously,î she said. ìI always engage in serious conversation. I do not like nor enjoy gossip.î Although determined to make a difference in Washington, Rima said that she and her husband never discuss political or diplomatic issues at home with their children. ìWhen we are together as a family, we talk about their days, their concerns and achievements. We never talk about business.î Their three boys ìare my treasures,î Rima proudly said, reaching for a picture of the whole family at the White House. ìI am a soccer mom, a park mom and a tennis mom,î Rima said smiling. ìIn the winter, every Sunday I take them skiing at White Tail or we go ice skating on the Mall Ö our weekends are devoted to the kids.î Like most ambassadorial couples, the Al-Sabahs must attend official diplomatic functions most weeknights. ìI try to be home every day from 4 to 7 so we have three hours of quality time after school, before we have to go out,î Rima explained. ìMy children and my husband are the most important part of my life.î This private side of Rima may come as a surprise to some Washingtonians who see this tall woman and her handsome husband all over the society columnsóRima always looking glamorous in jewels and high heels. The Al-Sabahs donít actually live in their official residence. They live in Cleveland Park, in a ìfamily homeî to which only the familyís closest friends and school chums are invited. ìThis is where we unwind, live like a normal American family, and have sleepovers for the kids and privacyÖ. It is the [childrenís] home, where the basement can be a playground for the kids. Every TV is connected to a play station,î said Rima, the self-admitted disciplinarian who added, ìThey have what they need but I donít spoil my kids.î Luckily for the Al-Sabahs, the opportunity for a second, more private residence came as a result of plans to renovate the ambassadorís official residenceóplans that have yet to begin. ìItís very healthy. I never have to tell my children that they canít come downstairs in their pajamas because we are having a big reception or formal dinner party,î Rima said. Rima said that her early childhood experiences growing up during Lebanonís long civil war make her ìappreciate every living moment more.î ìAs a child of war, you are so aware of death,î she said. ìYou canít play outside, there are days you canít go to school Ö and silence is so abnormal.î She admitted to being protective of her boys and more careful about giving them the ìinnocent childhoodî that she missed. A self-confessed workaholic, Rimaís hard work has paid off. ìI want to make a difference, and when you feel like youíre making an impact, itís worth it,î said the former journalist, who still reads at least three newspapers a day and scans CNN, FOX, MSNBC and BBC World News each night before going to bed around midnight. Despite the hectic pace of this top diplomatic post and being a hands-on mom, Rima would still pick Washington over New York. ìIíll be very sad to leave Washington. I have met the most fascinating people here and have made lifelong friendships,î she said. ìI love the political feel of this city Ö and the parks, the green, the vista s, the open spaces and the beautiful museums. Itís a city where you feel like youíre living in the country. Part of my heart will always stay in Washington. I have embraced Washington, and Washington has embraced me.î Gail Scott is a contributing writer for The Washington Diplomat.