For Swedish Diplomatic Couple, Call of Duty Means Temporary Separation by Gail Scott Kerstin Eliasson, wife of Swedish Ambassador Jan Eliasson and, until recently, science counselor at the Swedish Embassy, is now the deputy minister of education for Sweden. Already she is living in Stockholm, alone, facing long days of meetings and travel without the comfort of her husband and family. And already this successful diplomatic duo has planned trips across the Atlantic to see each other (the first will be on Easter), with frequent phone calls to catch up and discuss their hectic days at the office. "On Dec. 4, the minister [of education] himself called and asked if I would be his deputy. I was very surprised, so I asked him, ëBut are you really serious?í I was already thinking this is an offer I canít refuse, but it meant I would have to be in Sweden, not here," Eliasson told The Washington Diplomat. "I immediately went to see Jan and met him outside his office. I pushed him back inside and closed the door. When I told him, he said, ëOh, thatís fantastic, thatís great. Of course, youíre going to do it.í Thatís just what I expected him to say." Eliasson added, "I like to be here, Washington, my favorite place, but this is a chance of a lifetimeÖ. And Iím 59. This is a one-time thingónow or never for me." To her proud husband whom she now outranks, the answer was also simple. "When she asked me if she should accept, I told her, ëYou should go for it.í Itís like the Mafiaóan offer you canít refuse." The ambassador himself served as deputy secretary of state under beloved Swedish Foreign Minister Anna Lindh (see November 2003 issue of The Washington Diplomat) before being appointed ambassador to the United States on Sept. 1, 2000. But to this mother of three and grandmother of five, this latest chapter in her distinguished career was unexpected. "Iíve always worked but I didnít think about my careeróit was always a job," explained Eliasson. "Basically, whether it was Paris, Germany or Washington the first time, I always went along with Jan and didnít think much about it. I never felt like I was giving up something." This appointment will mark the second time that the Eliassons have had to live in a commuter marriage across the Atlantic. From 1988 to 1992, Jan was Swedenís ambassador to the United Nations, during which time he served as the secretary-generalís personal representative on Iran and Iraq and as the first undersecretary-general for humanitarian affairs in 1992. He was involved in operations in Somalia, Sudan, Mozambique and the Balkans. This was important work for Jan but bad timing for Kerstin. "We had three children in school, ages 19, 17 and 9 then," Kerstin said. "Jan went first for four months alone and ended up staying on longer because Johan, our youngest, was never happy in New York. He hadnít made many friends and I wanted him to have a normal life, so I went back early with him to Sweden and Jan stayedÖ. So, weíve done this before." "We know how to do this," added Jan. "Iím so proud of her." The ambassador pointed out that his wifeís new posting is also an example of their "Swedish way of life." "I think it is a reflection of our country, of the equality in Sweden," Kerstin said. "No one has questioned whether I got this because I am married to Jan. I got it in my own right. One-half of our ministers are women and 40 percent of our Parliament, if not more, are women." Kerstin holds a masterís degree in sociology from American University and her undergraduate work at Stockholm University focused on social and political science as well as French. In addition to being fluent in Swedish, French and English, she is also comfortable in German and Spanish. Kerstin served as director of research policy in the Swedish Ministry of Education and Science from 1993 to 2000 and before that was an adviser to the prime ministerís office, reporting on U.S. science policies. From 1987 to 1991, she served as a chair for a scientific committee for the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, traveling all over the world to review other countriesí science and technology policies. In her new job as deputy minister of education, she will be overseeing all higher education and research matters in Sweden, as well as the public funding of student loans for higher education. And since all higher education in Sweden is state-run, this is a huge job. Ironically, Kerstinís youngest son, now 23 and back in Sweden job hunting, gave up his apartment in the center of Stockholm so his mother could have "instant" housing for the first few weeks of her new job. "Our house just outside Stockholm is rentedÖ. But I will look for my own place soon, so I can have a piano," said the avid amateur pianist who plays to relax at the end of the day. One thing she has learned over the years living all over the world while raising three children and working is that "you have to have time for yourself each day." "You know, what Iím doing shouldnít be exaggerated. Every woman copes with different demands. As diplomats, we go out so much in the evenings there is very little time. But if you like itóand I really have loved itóitís worth it," Kerstin said. "I know there are better grandmothers, better mothers, better wives. Time is so very, very limitedóyou just do the best you can. I havenít felt like I was sacrificing all these years." Almost 40 years ago, the diplomatic couple met at a mutual friendís dinner party. "We each came with someone else but we sat next to each other.... I was thrilled to meet himóa Foreign-Service officer, a really nice guy," recalled Kerstin. "But after the dinner, he didnít call me." Many months later, in the same place where they had first met, the same friend invited them to a big midsummer party. "Again, we both arrived with other dates but this time, it really clicked," Kerstin said with a lovely lilt in her voice. Their two daughters are now mothers themselves. Anna lives here and works for Cornell University in the Development Office. She has a 5-year-old named Max and two stepchildren, Hanna who is 10 and Axel who is 15. Annaís husband teaches comparative politics at American University. Emilie is also married and lives in Sweden with her husband and their two young boys, ages 2 and 4. For this grandmother, having children and grandchildren on both sides of the Atlantic proves that there is at least one advantage to living in two places. Nevertheless, Kerstin said she will miss the daily companionship of her husband and regular tennis partner. "Itís very wonderful when your spouse is there as an outlet when you are frustrated or have a problem to discuss or when you are very happy and want to tell someone. I have always been sorry for people who didnít have that." Gail Scott is a contributing writer for The Washington Diplomat.