February 2004












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For Romanian Ambassadorís Wife, New Baby Comes With New Hope
by Gail Scott

Carmen Ducaru, the 30-year-old wife of Romanian Ambassador Sorin Ducaru, was up half the night. This time it was not because her husband was still at the chancery until 2 a.m. talking, faxing and e-mailing officials in Romaniaówhich is seven hours ahead in timeóbut because this busy new mother and father were awake with their first child, Maria-Teodora, born Oct. 19, 2003.

"Nobody knew until the last month that I was even pregnant," said Ducaru. "It was a surprise to everyone Ö I kept going to parties, galas." Not only did people not know, they couldnít believe the news when nine days after Maria-Teodora was born, Ducaru was back greeting friends and top Washington VIPs alongside her husband, Romanian President Ion Iliescu and Romanian Foreign Minister Mircea Geoana at the countryís jazz celebration at the Library of Congress.

"I just jumped in," said Ducaru. "I learned how ëto swimí by swimming. I didnít know what to expectÖ. I feel like a witness of history in the making for Romania," she added. "And we helped that happenóNATO, European Union."

With a bachelorís degree in marketing and a masterís degree in international relations and European integration from Romaniaís National School of Political Sciences and Public Administration, Ducaru understands this moment in timeóthe opportunity for her country to re-enter the world communityóand she doesnít want to miss a thing.

"My husband worked so hardó2 to 3 in the morning, and some nights we didnít sleep at all. Heíd stay late at the office, go to bed at 2 and be up in the office at 9 day after day, night after night," she recalled. "Itís killing."

And now with the baby? "We take shifts," Ducaru said. "Iím breastfeeding so I have to get up." But the Romanian Orthodox Catholic added, "This is a joy and a blessing from God."

Ducaru was sitting in the large living room of their official residence just off Massachusetts Avenue. Warm sunlight was filtering in through the windows onto their hand-decorated Christmas tree, next to a big-screen television.

"The staff is on vacation," Ducaru explained as she brought over a cup of tea. "We are home alone," she said, smiling. "We wash the dishes, we vacuum. My husband helps me around the house. We put the tree up Christmas Eveóthatís our tradition. We are an ordinary family."

Nevertheless the house is full. Ducaruís in-laws and her parents arrived from Romania more than a month ago for their first granddaughterís birth and are in residence for the January christening. Only Haiduc, their beloved Romanian shepherd, is outside now because "he loves the baby, but heís so big and sheís so small."

Already, snapshots of Maria-Teodora are prominently displayed amid the impressive silver-framed official pictures on the grand piano. One photo dated Oct. 3 shows the ambassador with former National Security Adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski with their dogs. Itís signed, "To Sorinówith Friendship, Zbig," with the comment, "Your dog looks thirsty; my dogs look angry but both are now in NATO."

Next to the photo are two framed letters from the White House sent after receiving Maria-Teodoraís birth announcement. President Bush said, "Welcome to the World," while the first lady Laura Bush commented on the "splendid news Ö the arrival of your beautiful little ëgift of God,í" adding that she was "impressed with the very calm and composed new mother and father."

All heady stuff for a young ambassadorial couple who married only two and a half years ago here at the embassy, moving into the official residence as newlyweds two weeks later. Since their arrival, it has been an extremely exciting time for Romania, which received invitations into the NATO and European Union families, hosted President Bushís 2002 visit to this new Eastern European ally, and secured a new position as a U.N. Security Council member.

To top off the political "good news," the newest Ducaru was born on the exact same day that Romanians back home voted in favor a new national constitution.

So is all of this just lucky timing for the Ducarus? "No," vows Carmen. "In order to accomplish a lot, you have to do a lot. There is no other wayóthere is only one way." Today, her motivation is something she can hold in her arms. "I want to see my country successful and respected. I want a better life for my baby. Weíll be going back."

This former Romanian Airlines flight attendant remembers that growing up in Romania under notorious dictator Nicolae Ceausescu was not easy. "The system was so tight; we were so oppressed. We had to fight for everything to be successful. There was lots of competition. Nothing was taken for granted," she said, adding, "The í80s were the worst when I was in high school Ö it was hard to find the best food."

Ducaruís mother waited in Bucharestís food lines and her father, a pilot for the state airline, would bring home food from abroad whenever he could. "But I had a happy childhood, going to my grandparentís village, and I had wonderful teachers in my public school. I am the ëcity girlí and my husband is the ëmountain guy,í" she said, beaming with her Julia Roberts-size smile.

"Heís from a tiny town in TransylvaniaóRasnov, called the town of three roses, which is made up of Germans, Hungarians and Romanians," Ducaru explained. She proudly shows a faded black-and-white 1980 snapshot of her husband and his buddies titled "The Cowboys of the Romanian Mountains." She added, "When he learned to walk, he learned to ski as well."

Ask her husband why his wife has been such a hit here and you get a candid answer: "Her success even surprises me," he said. "We started a new life together and we wanted to make a difference, but we didnít really know how we would perform as a team when I got one of the biggest jobs for a Romanian," said the former representative to the United Nations.

"Diplomatic life is a team life," he added. "And we are part of a generation of Romanians who do not have any inhibitions. We see the opportunities and we donít take anything for granted. This is the spirit of our generation Ö our extra motivation. We sense the opportunities Romanians didnít have for many decades.

"Carmen is definitely very, very effective," he continued. "On an organizational chart, she is the special projects manager. Sheís a great addition because she puts her whole soul, mind and energy into everything. She has a unique capacity and the luxury to transcend the bureaucratic, formal structure whether it is through friendships with dignitaries, press or families of adopted children from Romania," he said.

"In diplomacy, credentials matter a lot, but especially here in America there is a special chance for people to take you for what you are," Ambassador Ducaru added. "And if you have the energy and the imagination, it works."

Those in Carmenís diplomatic circles share that sentiment. "Carmen is very enthusiastic, full of energy and also extremely receptive to others," said Marie-Cecile Levitte, wife of the French ambassador, who originally met Carmen while in New York. "She is a real proóvery clever and sweet. She has innovative ideas that are always welcome in our diplomatic world. Above all, having a young, lovely, spontaneous ëmumí among us is a real pleasure."

Gail Scott, author of "Diplomatic Dance: The New Embassy Life in America," is a contributing writer for The Washington Diplomat.

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