Life of British Ambassadorís Wife Shapes Mission to Prevent Child Abduction by Gail Scott For nearly five and a half years, lady Catherine Meyer and her husband, British Ambassador Sir Christopher Meyer, have been the diplomatic darlings of Washington, D.C. They arrived in Washington as newlyweds having just married the day before in Chelsea, a hip section of London, and immediately began raising some eyebrows. At black-tie events, Meyer wore short skirts while her husband donned bright red socks. Word spread fast that this diplomatic couple were clever, chic, witty, even glib, but never boring. Vogue magazine crowned them ìsexy.î Their partiesówhether official ones at the British residence or private dinners at Georgetownís CafÈ Milanoówere always the place to be. But behind the big smiles and happy chatter, there has always been great pain. For almost a decade now, Catherine Meyer has been living in two vastly different worlds. In Washingtonís diplomatic and social circles, she has been in the enviable position of being the healthy, attractive and beloved wife of one o f Washingtonís most important diplomats at the height of his career. She has been constantly surrounded by physical comforts and grandeur, including a large household staff and a bona fide British butler. Her official duties included meeting and greeting some of the worldís most powerful people and giving and going to fabulous events. But behind all this glamour and excitement, Meyer has been engaged in a desperate international custody battle for her sons, Alexander and Constantin, who were only 7 and 9 when they were abducted in 1994 by their German father, Meyerís ex-husband. The English courts ordered the childrenís immediate return to their mother, their custodial parent. At first, a German court even agreed. But the boys never came home to England or their mother. Looking Back Now, Meyer is leaving Washington and returning to London with her husband, Sir Christopher, who at 58 is retiring early from the Foreign Service to become chairman of Britainís Press Complaints Commission. Yet endless farewell parties hosted by A-list friends from Washington and New York cannot keep this mother from her cause: helping other families caught in the scary and complicated global web of child abductionódespite not being able to help or even visit with her own abducted sons. With exorbitant legal fees, two U.S. presidential interventions, congressional hearings, a successful book launch, high-profile media coverage, endless paperwork and the constant roller-coaster of despair and hope, this nervy and determined mother has never given up. ìItís incredible to think back,î she said of this agonizing nine-year period when even her sonsí Christmas packages and birthday presents were never acknowledged and probably did not reach the boys. For nearly a decade, there has been almost no visitation or communication allowed between this mother and her children. During this time, Meyer said, ìI have only seen them 24 hours and the last time, two years ago in a courtroom.î Today, Alexander and Constantin are 15 and 17. Soon, under European Union law, the boys will be free to decide for themselves. ìMy motherís intuition tells me I will see them then,î Meyer said. And, for the first time, they might read about their motherís pain in her touching book, ìThey Are My Children, Too: A Motherís Struggle for Her Sons.î Not the Only One ìOnly when I got here did I realize that my case was not unique, my bad luck,î Meyer said. ìA lot of American parents got in touch with me when my book came out. I was interviewed by Barbara Walters and People magazine. Thatís when I realized that American parents were going through exactly the same thing, especially with Germany.î Sixty countries, including Germany, are signers to the 1980 Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, which states that abducted children should be returned to their ìhabitual residenceî immediately. Unfortunately, differences in each countryís family law and local judges where the child has been abducted often result in a ìhome court advantage,î according to Ernie Allen, head of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, a 19-year-old public-private nonprofit based in Alexandria, Va. ìWe donít have good international statistics yet,î admitted Allen, ìbut we do know that in the United States alone, 200,000 children are abducted by family members, mostly non-custodial fathers, and 58,000 children are abducted by non-family members each year.î Form of Child Abuse ìTo ask a child to choose between two parents is outrageous,î said Meyer. ìItís a form of child abuse. Children want to love and be loved by both their parentsÖ. A child is not a suitcase.î Both Allen, a lawyer and former public health director, and Meyer, a former financial executive fluent in five languages, realized that todayís global economy and easy international travel have created more international marriages and divorces, resulting in an increase of abducted children taken from one country to another by non-custodial parents. In April 1999, they launched the International Centre for Missing and Exploited Children (ICMEC) with a major embassy event. Speakers included Hillary Clinton and Cherie Blair, wife of British Prime Minister Tony Blair and a practicing lawyer. ìMany of the features of modern life, which seem to us so convenient and pleasurableóthe ease of foreign travel, the increasing irrelevance on national frontiers, especially in Europeómean there are more and more transnational marriages,î Blair said. ìIt is also much easier to disappear with abducted children [than ever before],î she added. ìAnd since each country has its own judicial system, custody orders in one country are not necessarily recognized in another.î According to Clintonówho at the time was still first lady before becoming a New York senatoróchild abductions are ìnot just about individual children and the pain of victim parents, but they really are a question of human rights.î Meyerís connections in Congress include other powerful politicians. Former Sen. Jessie Helms (R-N.C.) ìwas with me from the beginning and never let go,î Meyer noted. Other congressional supporters included Sens. Strom Thurmond (R-S.C.), Pat Leahy (D-Vt.) and Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.). Meyer and Allen spearheaded the ICMECís efforts to improve the workings of the Hague Convention. Computers and the Internet became the ICMECís crucial tools. Now everyone in the world can simultaneously see pictures of abducted children, and 14 countries have Web sites that together list 350 separate cases of international child abductions. Red Cross for Children Now a highly recognized advocate for missing and abducted children, Meyer has most recently founded her own organization, Parents and Children Together, or PACT. Both first lady Laura Bush and Cherie Blair are PACT patrons. This advocacy groupóalong with Child Focus in Belgium and the newest group, the South African Center for Missing and Exploited Childrenóare the beginning of what Allen calls ìa Red Cross for children.î Allen added, ìLady Meyer has had an enormous impact. I am proud of the progress, and we are committed to work together. Just because sheís leaving, the embassy doesnít change that. ìItís hard to imagine a more effective, more tenacious person who has brought more people together to understand this problem or have greater impact than Catherine Meyer has,î he added. ìThis is not about her own personal story but in sharing the pain. Using her story as a primer, she has become a tireless catalyst for helping others.î Gail Scott, author of ìDiplomatic Dance: The New Embassy Life in Americaî is a freelance writer in Washington, D.C., who has covered the Meyers since their arrival in Washington. Information Resources For Missing Children National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC): (800) THE-LOST www.missingkids.com www.cybertipline.com International Centre for Missing and Exploited Children (ICMEC): http://icmec.missingkids.com Global Missing Childrenís Network: http://icmec.missingkids.com/html/globalnetwork.htm (Includes links for Australia, Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Chile, Italy, Netherlands, South Africa, United Kingdom, United States) Parents and Abducted Children Together (PACT): www.pact-online.org Inter-American Childrenís Institute (IIN): www.iin.oea.org --Gail Scott